What If We Weren't Color Blind?

As I sat down to write this blog post... I stared at my computer screen for long stretches of empty time just thinking and dwelling upon God. My next door neighbors would come and visit me every so often and we would talk for an hour or so and I would return to this blank screen when they would leave. Sometimes I realize that  I just don't have the words!

They are trapped in a snippet of melody, a color in the clouds, a curve of a smile, the saltiness of a tear, the pounding of a faithful heart, the prayers of the earnest, and the wind of the Spirit.

The wind is blowing with conviction outside my window... my curtains stretch and flit every so often, and I can hear the rustling of leaves as branches meet distant relatives. It is a beautiful sound, and an inviting event to behold.

God is beyond our consciousness. He is beyond our understanding. His love is overwhelming. His truth is blinding. His light rips a whole in our dimly lit reality. Oh how blessed we are to catch a hold of His garments here in this life.

He is so gentle with us. Oh if we could see and understand His power, if we could have the slightest dash of faith to believe in His love.

A friend of mine once told me that "The Kingdom of God was advancing violently!"

It is with tears in my eyes that my heart cries out to God "I want to see! I want to see what Jimmy saw!" Oh God give me the eyes to behold your presence as it dances and wraps itself around those who seek your face, and those who thirst for your righteousness in this broken and hurting world.

I want to sit and listen to your voice. If I can heart, then my heart wouldn't wander for to be filled. I want that melody, that tune that you are humming over me to reside within this heart. I long for you to take your brush and paint the walls of this heart into something beautiful.

Oh give us the faith to behold your glory and love. Remind me that I am clay daily, and humble me. Drench me and soften me with your grace. Shape me with your firm hand and guide me with your light. I want to be able to walk humbly with you through this life, and it is only in complete surrender unto you that I may.

The kingdom of God is advancing violently as Jimmy told us. It is running like a mighty steed, burning in flight like a phoenix, sailing and skipping like a dolphin, and snatching and dashing rusty chains of bondage. It is awakening hearts, and bringing color back into this world of grey. My eyes haven't adjusted yet to these new colors...

We need His love more than the air we breath. Everything else is meaningless and chasing the wind.

Handong, the place of vision! Let me introduce you to my new family! :)

You should see what God has done in 16 years! I am so blessed and honored to be a part of this place and the team of beautiful people that God has placed me with. We learn, to serve. He is all we need!

Looking over Lake Cheon-Ma-Ji towards the city of Pohang! You can see the forest of apartment buildings there in the background. A 5 minute walk from my dorm :)

Looking back towards Handong, down the hill and through the woods!

Handong Canyon! We took a wonderful hike to the top and saw an owl perched in the cleft! :)

Looking over the canyon to the lake and Pohang beyond :)

A traditional tomb that we found in the woods :)

Rice fields :) I love these things... such a beautiful green!

Like I said... I really enjoy these rice fields. See the joy on my face, and the need for me to have a picture taken with the rice?

Practicing Korean culture and my new knack for modern art :)

On a bike ride to Chilpo beach! Looking back the valley to Handong.

On campus! A look across a field, that we're techincally not supposed to walk across but I try to atleast once a week to enjoy the grass, at our beautiful library!

A look at our cafeteria and lots of crazy asian kids playing b-ball :)

My three roomates (Teriyoung: Korea, Kami: Rwanda, Mil Ar: Korea) and I doing a Rwandan pose: AKA in the states as the standing in the rain after crawling through 500 yards of poo to escape Shawshank prison :)  We took this picture on the beach during our Team's first adventure and party night!

The Lone Survivors of Jim-Jil-Bang! (Korean Public Bath House). My team and I all went swimming in the ocean at 1 AM and part of our team continued on to the most epic Korean experience ever! Salt shower time, Sauna, late night games and snacks, sleeping in little brick oven shaped coveys, and waking up to the most epic hot tub/cold shower experience ever! I am going to do this every weekend I believe... Yes I have decided!

Market Place downtown Pohang :)

Advertisements in an alley way. Yeah... Koreans are big into drama/singing.

International outing in the streets of Pohang! Photo shoot time... All in the spirit of being "more" Korean.

Looking through an old window... into another world!

That's it for now! Love you all :)

Hello from Handong! :D

Wow!

So much to say!

God's spirit flows throughout the halls and around the buildings here :) I have come to a new understanding on how BIG and how Awesome God's family is!! It is truly amazing, and beautiful, and glorious all wrapped together in one!

This is truly the most international environment I have ever experienced. I am meeting people from Taiwan, China, Mongolia, Russia, South Korea, Rwanda, Tanzania, Uganda, Kenya, Philippines, Indonesia, Netherlands, Nepal, Palestine, and this is only in my incoming class! Hopefully I will meet more soon! :D (I'm probably forgetting a few somewhere...)

He is so big! My heart is stretching everyday to learn and know More of Him!

Korea is beautiful! It has a big focus in industry and agriculture! I took the train from Seoul to Pohang and it was an epic trip! At one moment you would be rushing through a giant city filled with people and tall buildings, and the next you would be in the mountains surrounded by green houses, orchards and rice fields.

So many gardens!! The mountains of Korea are lush and green! And the trees here are absolutely incredible! They are so diverse and mixed! My dear friend Jimmy would have loved this place!

These people are hilarious. So funny! So kind, warm, congenial, and friendly! I am learning Korean from so many people and enjoying every second of it!

Kimchi is good! It is spicy, and I have to be careful how much I take! But I like it :) It seasons my meal just right! Every meal I get to try something new, and my chopstick skills are increasing! It is an adventure every mealtime :D

The other day I was sitting in Twelve Baskets eating my Korean meal, and there was a sextet practicing their classical music. It was so beautiful to simply sit and eat and listen to the deep cello, the soft flute, piano, violins and clarinet! I am so moved by these people and this place.

Today we took the Honor Code Pledge. The President of Handong gave a speech and the first and last words out of his mouth were "I love you!". (He was part of the reason why I came!)

These people truly believe in God, and they aren't afraid to let God mold them into the leaders that this world needs. It is inspiring, it is moving, and it is challenging! I feel this calling to be more for God. To truly live life to the fullest! To live in Integrity and Honesty in all that I do!

Today at the Honor Code Pledge. President Kim said something that really struck me, other than him loving me so much :p. He said "We have to be the history makers!"

Wow! Let's do it!

Why not change the world?

"Be a Legend Sam!" - Jimmy Brazell

On the Plane heading to LAX :)

Some interesting gardens and fields. They put a black tarp over some plants to either protect it from the sun or create a water run off. It's very interesting!

Apartment buildings and mountains! :)

Rice fields! Yum :)

Looking over the rooftops to the mountains :)

Pohang! Which is where I am going in 20 minutes! Must run! Hopefully I will take more pictures of Handong Campus and community life! So much fun :)

Love you guys!

We Walk Where the Path is Illuminated

Sometimes I love to think about the unknown. It is such a fantastic and exciting future that lies in front of us. I have this strong faith and reassurance that lies within me that I will reach heavens shore one day, and that this kingdom that lives within me will shine. I have a faith in a Lord that is faithful to finish what He started with in me.

There is hope, there is hope in the midst of weakness! There is hope, there is hope in the midst of fear, when we surrender our consciousness’ to the one who has never lost the intents of His heart. How so often, we truly don’t understand our desires and how to let God fulfill them. Yet we serve one who makes no mistakes in what He instills and what He urges within our hearts!

Oh the joy, oh the adventure, oh the life that is for those who believe!

Every day is do or die… God’s spirit is calling us to live so fully and so completely we are almost scared to accept. There is freedom in Love, and truth is what will set us free to experience that love!  Let us not walk in the paths of this world lit up by bright lights, but walk through the valley of darkness where the path is illuminated by Him.

Follow the torch bearer, and run with all your will! This is the race that lies before me, and no one else will run it.

Heading to Handong Global University in Pohang South Korea... This is my anthem!

I will arise and follow you over
Savior please, pilot me

Over the waves and through every sorrow
Savior please, pilot me

When I have no more strength left to follow
Fall on my knees, pilot me

May your sun rise and lead me on
Over the seas, Savior pilot me

O' Lord

Trees

Last evening I took a walk outside as the sun was setting on my Uncles ranch in the Hill Country of Texas. There were small frolicking bats that would dip down and get a drink from the pool. The last few slanted rays from the sun were shooting through the branches of these gigantic oaks that were lending there branches to shade the pool. It was so beautiful, I just had to stop and talk to God. Sometimes when I am struck by beauty or a thought that comes to me from God I respond out loud to God and have a little conversation. So God began to talk to me through this Giant and majestic trees which wind their limbs here and there and arch them in such beautiful arcs that meet with the next tree to form a sort of canopy of green leaves.

Trees are such an interesting part of creation. There is a reason why they are used to represent the family unit. There is the saying that No Man is an Island, and I believe this is missing the bigger picture. In my opinion, no man is a lone tree. This is not a perfect analogy because I love those lone trees that sit on the top of grassy hills. They remind me of the giving tree. In some way lone trees that sit on the top of the hill are like grandfather or grandmother tree who are old and are only visited on special occasions but are wise, humble and extremely cherished.

  But instead, imagine trees as they are normally found: in a forest. I love forests.

The forests of Norway are some of the most fantastic in the world. I spent a weekend in the woods east of Skien Norway on a solo backpacking trip and I was overcome with the beauty and the medieval age of these dark forests. It reminded me of Mirkwood forest from the Hobbit. To be honest this was one of my favorite memories from my time in Norway. The adventure and the solitude, the cool of oncoming winter, and the warmth of a fire, it was a picturesque weekend.

But still, the trees which I speak of here in Texas are still different and unique in a beautiful way. Live Oaks are family trees.

They do not overcrowd their relatives in a thick and dark forest and they don’t stand on their own on top of grassy hills. They are special because they are able to branch out and become all they are meant to be without feeling any pressure or hindrance from others trying to keep them down. Yet at the same time they branch out and eventually touch branches with their neighbors in a graceful and beautiful way. I can honestly say that they are the freest tree I’ve ever seen and that is why I love them so much. But not free in a sense of independent, but free in the sense that they are able to grow into the fullest potential and oh man do they look beautiful when they stand together and intertwine their branches.

In a sense… this is what I pray my life will look like. I want to be a Live oak that grows strong and tall and lifts others up to all that God has for them and for me. We are all family. Let’s lift each other up and grow into all that God has for us. Let your rain fall down God! I’ll pull my branches out of the dirt and reach them out in praise.

“I will restore to you the years that the swarming locust has eaten, the hopper, the destroyer, and the cutter, my great army, which I sent among you.” Joel 2:25 God is restoring our branches.

Give up yourself, and you will find your real self

I found this as I was roaming about through C.S. Lewis quotes. It is exactly what I am trying to understand in my life at the moment. I do hope you all will enjoy :)

"But there must be a real giving up of the self. You must throw it away ‘blindly’ so to speak. Christ will indeed give you a real personality: but you must not go to Him for the sake of that. As long as your own personality is what you are bothering about you are not going to Him at all. The very first step is to try to forget about the self altogether. Your real, new self (which is Christ’s and also yours, and yours just because it is His) will not come as long as you are looking for it. It will come when you are looking for Him. Does that sound strange? The same principle holds, you know, for more everyday matters. Even in social life, you will never make a good impression on other people until you stop thinking about what sort of impression you are making. Even in literature and art, no man who bothers about originality will ever be original: whereas if you simply try to tell the truth (without caring twopence how often it has been told before) you will, nine times out of ten, become original without ever having noticed it. The principle runs through all life from top to bottom. Give up yourself, and you will find your real self. Lose your life and you will save it. 

    Submit to death, death of your ambitions and favourite wishes every day and death of your whole body in the end: submit with every fibre of your being, and you will find eternal life. Keep back nothing. Nothing that you have not given away will be really yours. Nothing in you that has not died will ever be raised from the dead. Look for yourself, and you will find in the long run only hatred, loneliness, despair, rage, ruin, and decay. But look for Christ and you will find Him, and with Him everything else thrown in."

C.S. Lewis, Mere Christianity (1952; Harper Collins: 2001) 223-225.

There is a Heavenly Forest I know

There is a heavenly forest I know,
Which lingers still to this day.
Its trees are old, its history told
In memories which frolic and play.

I once stumbled into this wood,
Of whence I came, I know not how.
Yet this I can assuredly say,
I would give a day to see it now.

The cool breath of loving trees,
The laughter which echoed throughout;
The singing of flowers and contentment herself,
Lilted here, and there, and all about.

It was here that I found her waiting,
Crowned in all her simple excellence.
To sit, to pray, to worship on high,
And find my rest in peacefulness.

Ice Cold Water and Lots of Sun from Chang Mai!

Hello to all from Chang Mai :) I am currently lying on my comfy bed chilling to Travis sipping an ice cold sprite from a glass bottle with a rotating fan blessing me from afar every 8 seconds. My two companions are both passed out on their own individual beds being blessed at intervals of 8 and 4 seconds as well (I have the window bed :D). God has blessed us immensely :)

I`ve been here for a week and a half and I can't say how much I`ve enjoyed my time here. It`s been rather incredible to say the least :) I`m especially glad I was here in Chang Mai for Songkran, the Water Festival, the worlds largest and most epic water fight! But I will back up before I tell my war glory stories or boast of any battle scars.

Last I updated I was in Mae Sot in quite a cozy coffee shop just coming back from a week and a half in two different Karen villages. Well shortly after our day off, we all piled into Gugu`s (Our translator) truck and headed for a third Thai Karen village not too far from Mae Sot. It was easter Sunday :) We arrived and shortly after changing into our church clothes headed through the village and up a long cement stair case up to the church sitting on a hill overlooking the village. It was a really nice church! It even had wooden pews :D.

For one thing it sure was the most interesting Easter Sunday service I`ve been too haha. Usually in Karen villages there are a lot of boys(usually a little more boys than girls) in church which is an unusual but awesome statistic. However in this church there were a lot of girls. They had two choirs, one children's and one teenage choir, both almost made entirely out of girls. The biggest thing that stuck out to me in this service was the 15 – 20 minute prayer at the end :p. After the service we were invited for lunch and had quite a delicious meal :) That evening the whole youth group with lots of teenagers came over to the house we were staying at for evening worship. Ahh absolutely beautiful and lovely to hear familiar worship songs (and new ones!) in the Karen language. I just felt God`s presence dwell with us. And I could feel it in the air, true and utter worship and sincere desire for God. He rewards those who seek His face.

For the next couple days we did a lot of children`s program everyday, and a couple of us helped one of the villagers finish his Bamboo hut (bamboo porch with railing and all!) :) That was fun! I`ve never enjoyed using a machete more! At night the whole village goes to bed around 8:30-9ish, so around this time I would go outside and look at the night sky in the dark and in the quiet. It was absolutely breathtaking and so tranquil to stand alone gazing upwards talking to God and paying visit to old familiar friends in the sky.

One day I decided to take a walk in my spare time and headed out of the valley up onto the hills. The hills here are extremely steep but not too tall, kind of like oblong turtle shells that grew up instead of out. With Switchfoot`s new cd as my background music I climbed with passion and tenacity! I love it when my whole body can participate in worshiping my king :D. At the top of every crest I would get a new and revealing view of the surrounding valleys and distant rice fields or distant trails running up even steeper hills with rocky cliffs jutting out their sides. Beautiful scenes that will be crystallized in my memory as long as I live. I prayed for the village and just felt like a new part of my heart had awoken inside of me.

If there is one thing that I will remember and take away with me from the Karen people, one thing that I learned, one thing that characterized them, was their utter and complete hospitality. We would go house visiting again every night and no matter where we went they had refreshments and snacks prepared or quickly prepared for us. Here we are rich white foreigners visiting these beautiful people`s humble houses who don`t have much and work all day long just so they can put rice on the table for their family, I just felt different. They would spend the little money that they saved on Cola and cookies so they might have something to offer us.

What do I offer visitors or friends back home? The first thought I had was to bake a cake everytime a friend comes over when I get back home :p But then it made me think... what do I have to offer them? For one quick moment I thought “nothing.” They have the love of Christ growing inside of them already, all I am is just a white boy from Texas eating their food. I felt rather useless to be honest.

But then they said something that made my ears twitch. In all of the houses all of the parents said that their biggest concern was that their children might have an education, especially to learn English. Ahha! And then I realized that one of the biggest blessings I`ve been given to give to others is the simple gift of friendship. Through offering basic needs to people, helping them improve their lives and helping them with whatever they needed I could form simple and life long friendships with these amazing people.

In the three days I was there I already felt sad to leave these friendships in such an early stage. The pastor of the church mentioned that he too was sad that we all have to leave after just getting to know each other. It made me want more. I realized that I`m not content with acquaintances... It also made me realize that missions is not some big emphasized time in life where we let God use us for ministry. Instead I realized that missions is simply being taught how to minister with your life. To love through living life, and to love deeply and unreservedly, it`s as simple but difficult as that.

We left for Chang Mai the next day. On the bus ride up there I had a great time of writing and was able to capture some of my thoughts by pen and paper which always picks up my spirit. It was quite a different turn from bamboo hut villages to the city with mopeds songtaos (Taxi trucks) and nice guest houses with beds and fans! I honestly believe I`m living in luxury at the moment. The market is not far away where I can buy two juicy sweet ripe mangos for 50 cents.

The ministry and atmosphere is definitely different these last two weeks but I`ve enjoyed it just as much as the simple and quiet lifestyle of the villages. Here at the YWAM guest house is another DTS team from Sunshine Beach Australia. I`ve really enjoyed the additional company in ministry :)

Here in Chang Mai we are working with two different ministries. Home of Joy (Orphanage/ Family of eight awesome kids that know more bible stories than most of us, and correct us if we forget an important detail in any of them) in the morning from 9-12ish and Night Bar ministry late from 8-12ish. It`s absolutely two completely opposite ministries in the same day, but we love it!

Working with all the kids at Home of Joy is just that, a great joy for me :) However it is rather exhaustive especially after staying up late at the bars every night. To say these kids are energetic would be deceiving :p They are pretty crazy whirl winds of joy that can speak Thai and English very well. There are 7 boys and 1 girl. I really love these kids, and they love to have fun! I can't say much more due to safety reasons but they are great kids and I miss them alot!

Great kids! My specialty with them is either reading their favorite books to them (Berenstein Bears! Woot!) and our daily paper airplane race after the bible story :) The two big outings we`ve done with the kids was a rock climbing adventure at this rock climbing wall place, and taking them all out to play in the Water Festival! I will miss them when we have to leave...

Regarding the night bars, the guys on my team in partnership with Johnny (an Australian sounding swiss dude) and Dan (An intense Californian who lives in Washington) have pioneered friendships and connections with the gay bar section here in town. To say the least our time at these different bars has been great!

I for one have quite a larger world view and outlook on the whole subject of being gay. At first I was shocked, then I was saddened, and now I accept and see the truth behind so many of these mens false identities and am focused to become friends with them and love them for who they are. Like I said, at first I was shocked. The majority of men that visit these bars are 50-60 years old and older and are all white foreigners from Europe, Canada and the U.S. After having many talks with many of the customers, it`s appalling how warped their worldview is and how much their thought life and as a result their ability to hold a conversation revolves around sex.

I`ve heard things like this. “12 years old and up is okay. They start having sex on their own at that age anyway.” “Slums in Thailand? Are you serious? Thailand is so nice now, it can be compared with Switzerland.” “I thought all boys played around with each other when they were 15 or 16...”. The whole scene of this place is dark, but not in a scary way, just in a twisted way. It`s all set up with young Thai guys trying to make some money by being “company” to the customers. What made me especially sad and sick to the stomache/angry is seeing that one of the “drifters”, gay prostitutes that hang out in the bars looking for work, couldn`t have been older than 14.

It`s a pretty sick and demented system set up, and all of us have been challenged, but God has protected us and it seems that no matter what we see or experience, that it just bounces off of us and doesn`t affect us. I`m also constantly affirmed and reminded of my masculinity, it`s pretty much black and white. All of the customers can tell that I`m not gay as soon as they see me, and that kind of confuses them to as why I`m hanging out at a gay bar. Yet they are all starving for true conversation and real masculinity with people who haven`t put up a false identity so it is easy to talk to people and generally they are open and amiable.

I talked to this one guy named Tony from Vermont for almost 2 and a half hours one night. He was about 40 years old and lived in Thailand. Owned a ring manufacturing company and for some reason was filthy rich. Dan and I started to get to know him, and when the subject of religion came up we were surprised to hear that he used to be a southern baptist when he lived in Florida. He said the reason he left the church was the hypocrisy in the church. A deacon gave a sermon that was rather “anti-gay” and the next week Tony saw the same guy in a gay bar. When he confronted the pastor, the pastor did not act.

So Tony said he was done with that crap. However, he was well versed in the bible! Although I think he was well versed in a way that was a little twisted, kind of like a man that uses a warped mirror as an indicator of his true reflection. He used different bible verses in ways that they weren`t necessarily supposed to be used, however all in all he quoted most of them correct. At this point Dan and him got in a little bit of a scuffle about Christ and the idea of abusing grace, and I was afraid it was going to get bad. Both of them were saying mostly truth, but refusing to hear the truth of the other. Voices were raised and it got a little iffy looking, but I was able to calm Tony down a little bit. After Dan left, Tony kind of went back to normal and the atmosphere turned calm and open again.

So we talked a lot about his life, and what he believes. We talked about Buddhism and Christianity. We talked about his father and his childhood. We talked about physics and entropy. Ahh it was great :D! By using one of my passion in physics I was able to give him a couple thoughts regarding God and what Christ did in a different way than he had ever wondered. And in the end we talked about doing good, his orphan work in Burma and the mission work that I did here in Thailand. We talked about the depravity of man, and how we should strive to make a better world (I put in, through Christ`s power haha.). In the end we didn`t feel like we shoved our idealogical beliefs down each others throats, but instead thoroughly enjoyed discussing them.

As we ended our conversation he told me I was one of the wisest men he knows and that it gave him hope to see someone else who was fighting against the darkness. This confirmed something inside of me that I have always been wondering and hoping about. The fact is, I don`t want to witness with my mouth. It`s like that famous quote from St. Francis of Assisi “Preach the gospel always, if necessary, use words.” I believe it wasn`t what I said to Him that impacted him so much, as to how I said it and the fact that I truly took interest in him and in what we were discussing. I believe he saw something different in me, and I`m just glad that God shown through! At the end of our conversation we were laughing like old friends (He wasn`t drunk) and I felt real joy being shared between us! I`ve always prayed... “God help me to love these people.” as if it was something I could`t do with a honest heart. As if talking to these people was something I had to force myself to do. But as I`ve gone to the bars every night, it becomes real and honest through God`s love inside of me, and I truly want to be there!

To say the least God is teaching me so much, and using me for even more I believe! He really is shaping my heart and my weapons of truth/love on the front line of battle. When I push myself in the midst of the darkness out of my comfort zone that is when God shines through and makes towers and mountains crumble before me. The darkness can not hide from His light. I know it sounds ironic, but He is teaching me how to fight with His love. The darkness, with all of its lies and deceit and its ability to hide is nothing compared with the ultimate reality of His love breaking down mighty strongholds.

The truth is....
Eph 6:12 “For we do not wrestle against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the cosmic powers over this present darkness, against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly places.”

But the good news is...

Isaiah 61:1, 4 “The spirit of the Lord God is upon me, because the Lord has anointed me to bring good news to the poor, he has sent me to bind up the brokenhearted, to proclaim liberty to the captives, and the opening of the prison to those who are bound.... They shall rebuild up the ancient ruins; they shall raise up the former devastations; they shall repair ruined cities, the devastations of many generations.”

Rom 8:38-39 “ For I am sure that neither death nor life, nor angels nor rulers, nor things present nor things to come, nor powers, nor height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to seperate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord.”

So anyways that`s what my last two weeks have been like :)! Book wise, I finished C.S. Lewis`s masterpiece “Till we have Faces” in the Karen village and was blown away once again! This time reading through, I feel like I got a lot more than last time and it really stuck with me! Such good truth in this book. It`s hard to describe my love and appreciation I have for this book haha. And at the moment I am reading “Wild at Heart” by John Eldredge and I am being blown away. I`ve seen this book, heard of this book, but always kind of wrote it off. However now that I`ve given it a chance, its like the perfect time for me reading it! It`s basically Father Heart of God teaching directly focused at men, sooo good :D Little to say, I`m thoroughly enjoying this book!

Last but not least, the water festival was epic! I went out everyday in the streets surrounding the moat and threw buckets of ice cold water on people :) I was actually able to film some the last day with a waterproof plastic bag for my camera, but I don`t know if the video is good or if I will have time to upload any. I hope I will! This event will forever be one of my favorite memories of all time! I`ve never had so much intense water fun in my whole life. Especially getting the dry people :p

Anyways I love you guys, and thanks for praying and following my story. You guys mean a lot :D Prayer requests are just for good conversations in the Gay bars and for God to break down false identities and lies that these men have convinced themselves of. As well as for the children at Home of Joy, they need love and male influence. I pray that God will use me as that this last week we are with them. Also prayer for team unity and boldness to be open and honest within the team. :)

All the best!

Go Under the Mercy
-Sam

Thailand!!

Hello everyone! I am safe and sound here in Mae Sot Thailand. We have spent the last week and a half in two neighbouring Karen villages about 100 km north of here near Mae U-su. It`s been eye opening to live among these people and kind of a wild experience to be able to look across the river into Burma where fighting between the Burmese National Army and the Karen National Union had taken place just three months before. I`ve lived, slept, ate, worked, and played with these incredible people and they have taken our team in most hospitably.

However I will start from the beginning. We arrived in Bangkok a little after sunset almost two weeks ago. It was kind of a crazy weather switch from 32 F with no humidity to 85 F at night with 90% humidity hehe. I kind of felt like I was at home back in Texas on late august afternoon by the beach. We met Boy our translator while we were in Bangkok and headed for the truck. The transportation here is insane. Everyone has a moped, and taxis are trucks with benches in the back and a couple bars to hold on. It is soo much fun! So we all loaded up the truck and enjoyed the ride to the YWAM base. It was kind of funny because every car that came up behind us had smiling, laughing and waving people in it when they realized that we were white foreigners.

I`ve never been in a city so big. Bangkok was overwhelmingly crowded, noisy, and dusty roads. The inner city has a population of 9 million with the whole metropolitan area of 20 million. After relaxing at the YWAM base for a day we headed into the city for a prayer walk and to see the various temples, shrines and soo many Buddhas. At one point we were taking the sky train through the center of the city and it felt like I was walking through a forest of High-rises. I`ve never seen so many tall buildings before in my life. The sky train in itself is a feat with three trains stacked up on top of each other whisking you away to different parts of the city. The highways are also interesting. Usually 5 lanes each way with a skyway (another highway) as a median between the two. Most people die in moped accidents. Also the prices here are intensely cheap. In fact you can rent a moped for 1 day for about 1.50 Dollars.

Anyways our time in Bangkok was very nice! The exploration of the inner city and prayer walk was very cool! Every morning we had fresh mango for breakfast :) The fruit here is delicious! And every lunch and dinner we eat out. Mhmmm! Good tea, with chicken and cashew or sweet and sour chicken. So much rice!

We then hopped on a night bus here into Mae Sot. We arrived at 4 in the morning and met our Karen translator and friends Gugu and Moses. :) Ahh they are seriously two of the coolest people ever! We got a ride to one of their friends house and slept there for a few hours before we hopped in the truck and headed North to the first village.

First perhaps I should mention our sleeping conditions. It`s very traditional for the Karen to only sleep on a thin straw mat on the ground. When I heard this I imagined a bag stuffed with fluffy straw and a comfy sleeping on hay kind of an experience. However what they meant was a thin woven straw that could be rolled up much like a yoga mat or something. It was very fun experience.

Driving through the Thai countryside was very interesting and lots of fun! We saw lots of farm land and lots of little villages. After a while we started coming into the mountains. The mountains are very steep and interesting shapes, but not very tall. As we drove through the valleys we began to see alot of dry rice fields with their stepped areas. This is where we started to see the heart of the Karen refugees. We drove by the largest refugee camp which was not a village but more of a city. It was about a square kilometer in size with a population of 60 thousand Karen. There were so many bamboo huts squashed up near each other. Behind the camp you could see tall mountains lurking up on the Burmese side.

We stopped here for a few minutes and picked up Sunshine our third translator for our Swedish photographer friend who joined us in the village for a school project she was finishing. It was kind of random because we didn`t know he was going to join us, and all of the sudden he jumped in the back of the truck with us. We were all, "Hi! What`s your name?" It was pretty funny. When we arrived in the small village it was an experience I`ll never forget.

We bounced down a rocky dirt road for a couple minutes, rounded a bend and saw the first hut. As we passed it two little smiling kids waved at us from behind a bamboo fence. Beside the road two pigs were snarling at each other, which was kind of humorous to watch. Guess you had to be there.... As we came into the heart of the village there was several people flocking to the road to wave at us. It was, really heart warming. I can`t really describe it with words.

My time in the village is kind of dream like to remember. There were lots of chickens, pigs/piglets, dogs and naked children. It was peaceful, quiet and surreal. Every evening I took a bath in the river that ran through the village. The water was cool, and the sun was hot. Ahh it was so nice! There was a weird mix between modesty and village life living. Thankfully I had bought the village clothing :) It`s actually really cool! Everybody here wears skirts :) It`s actually not a skirt but towel thing that`s sowed together making a giant skirt hoop thing. I realize now that I`m very bad at describing physical items. Anyways... all of the women would wear this as they showered in the river whereas the men could shower in their shorts and only used it as a changing device. Lots of fun... :) I have quite a few funny experiences trying to get used to changing with one of these :p

Every day we played with the children and did some practical work. While we were there we dug a new well and helped them clear the hillside for new rice fields. It`s the dry season over here, so everything is pretty dusty and not as green as you would expect. At the moment everyone is getting ready for the rainy season and preparing the fields for rice planting. The sad thing is, the Karen people have no land of their own per say. However they still have to plant rice to farm just so they can survive. So as they clear the trees to make room for farm space the Thai conservationists freak out. It really sucks actually. The Thai authorities have a good point, you can`t destroy all of the rain forests, but at the same time the Karen don`t really have any other options.

So when we went to the rice fields we worked in an area that looked like Morodor. It was a mix between LOTR and Lost :p All of the guys had alot of fun :) However my favorite time in the village was every evening when we would go house visiting. After the sun had gone down and we had all had dinner we would go throughout the village in teams to just talk with the village people. They would invite us into their houses and we would talk by candle light. It was so nice to hear their stories and ask them questions about their life back in Burma and their new life here in Thailand. God really gave me a heart for these people and I can`t tell you how sad I am to leave them.

And ofcourse, I can`t forget to write about our little disciple Tuwapo. He was one of the bravest and coolest kids ever! He also climbed the steps to our bamboo house and hung out with us as we ate, talked or played the guitar. Such a great kid! I miss him alot! All of the kids here were soo cute and fun to play with! I learned alot of Karen from them :) With the older kids closer to my age we played Kaneball with. Woah! This is a fun sport! It`s basically volleyball except you use everything but your hands to get the ball over the net. Since I`m so bad at hacky sack, I didn`t think it would be possible for me to play, however I got pretty good!

All in all, I really enjoyed my time there! I really want to come back here one day and stay here a much longer time living among these people. I also tried ant eggs here. They weren`t bad... pretty tasty :) Oooh and Ice Salads... Mhm very good! For all you bubble tea drinkers out there, try to rap your mind around this. It`s the closest thing to a pangalactic gargleblaster that I`ve found. An Ice Salad is basically Strawberry tea with crushed ice mixed with bread, cookies, nuts and my personal favorite tapioca! :D Mhmm I thoroughly enjoyed trying this!! The rest of my team wasn`t as impressed :p At the end it gets a little sloppy and slushy.... But it`s very good!

After we left that village, we travelled a few kilometers to a nicer village with electricity where we had a youth camp at the church for 70 Karen teenagers. This was lots of fun! :D We had a great time of ministry, teaching and prayer with them. I really think God touched alot of their hearts! It was soo cool to pray for these young men who are searching after God and also want to help their people from the oppression of the Burmese government back in Burma. Many of these guys came alone to Thailand leaving their families back in Burma. As we were leaving several of the guys (who were my age) asked me when I was going to be back. I told them I didn`t know, but I hoped in six years when I`m through with University. That made them smile :)

Things are bad in Burma. Landmines are probably the number one danger to those still living in Karen villages in Burma. There are three factions. The Burmese National army, the Buddhist Karen Army and the Karen National Union. Sadly enough the Karen are actually fighting each other as well. The reason why is, when the Karen split up half of them (The Buddhist Karen Army) Surrendered to the Burmese. So now the BKA are being forced by the Burmese government to fight against their brothers the remaining Karen. Both of the factions landmine each others villages in and it`s very dangerous to travel anywhere. So that is the main reason why so many Karen seek a safe haven in Thailand. Yet even in Thailand the Karen Buddhist Army sneaks across the river to set fire to houses in the refugee camps. It is a major tragedy that is happening as I write this.

So I ask for prayer for these two nations, especially Burma. Burma has been a place on my heart since the beginning of DTS. Actually I felt God telling me that I was to work with these people and care for them, so when I found out I was going to Thailand specifically to Burmese Refugees I was so ecstatic! God has revealed so much of Himself these last two weeks I`m completely blown away :) Thank you all for continuing to pray for me and my team! But also pray for the fighting to end in Burma, and pray that the Karen will continue to come to know God intimately and trust in Him. As for me, I`m a little sick right now, and team Unity and focus on God`s voice is extremely important for us.

But as for what`s happening next, we will travel to Chang Mai on Wednesday :) We will encounter different challenges and new opportunities to share God`s word and love with the poeple there. In addition! We will be there during the water festival. For those of you that don`t know the water festival is the coolest idea in the world and we should do it back in the states. It`s basically three days where everybody in Thailand (especially in the north) have water fights all day long. You can`t walk down the streets without being drenched. Being a foreigner it will be extremely intense for us :p I wish I could take pictures but I`m afraid my camera will be ruined haha. Speaking of cameras I will hopefully update pictures of the village soon :)

Thank you all again for your prayers! You have no idea how much they help. God is constantly guiding us and speaking to us and revealing His heart to us. I miss you guys alot!

Love
-Sam


PS. You can read my Thailand Teams (and all the other outreach teams from my DTS to South Africa, Ethiopia, Columbia, and the Middle East) blog at http://ywamskien.wordpress.com/ .

Guten Tag Aus Deutschland!!

Hello everyone!! I`m here in Germany! And my oh my it is soo beautiful here! Alot has been happening to me since the New Year! I had an absolutely wonderful time at the New Years festival in Hamar Norway. All of YWAM Norway was gathered for a pretty epic time of teaching prayer and worship :D What I really enjoyed was the 24/7 Worship on New Years day! It was so great to let yourself worship till 4 oclock in the morning until you passed out from exaustion and knowing you could sleep the next day. So yes after the main worship ending at 4, a group of us went to the prayer room where we all continued to worship (either awake or asleep). I remember sitting there looking around the room full of people I didn`t know from all the different bases around Norway and thinking these people are my friends and family. The unity in the room was overwhelming!

So yes, it was an absolutely great time of listening to God`s voice. He has really been prodding me forward and giving me new and fresh ideas about my future. I was really encouraged and prepared to keep prodding forward with my walk with Him. Heart surgery is the best!

So now I`m here in Menzingen Germany! The first week we have visted 4 different schools in the neighboring villages doing programs for 9 different classes. We`ve been doing two different programs. One Anti-Mobbing program which the Germany team did last year, and a new Violence Prevention program for the first school. It`s been so much fun! And we`ve had alot of great discussions with several of the highschool students. I really think we`ve made alot of them think and encouraged them with God`s truths. I`ve met so many young people this week, when we ride the train to and fro from the villages Its almost impossible not to see someone you already met.

We also met with the Mayor of Kraichtal which is a city made of 9 neighboring villages, Menzingen being one of them. He was a nice man! Showed the same program as last year, as I was told :p Free pretzels and apple fritzer was really nice too! So it was very cool to be able to pray for the City Council there and inform him of the youth work we do during the project week.

The weekend was soooor nice! We traveled to Heidelburg which is by far one of my favorite European cities. It`s absolutely beautiful! Wonderful streets and just a great atmosphere! We toured the castle there and also took a walk on the Philosophers Walk. Very icy and steep, but a very beautiful walking path overlooking the Rhine river and the Castle. We also had starbucks!! Coolest starbucks ever with a tower room... ahh that was cool! We don`t have them in Norway, so the Norwegians were very excited to say the least...

And that brings me to this week! This week we will be doing youth workshops with 80 youth from the neighboring villages here at the local state church. It`s an all week program with workshops a meal and fellowship! It`s sooo much fun! Tonight I had the first testimony which went really well and I felt like it broke the ice for God to do some great stuff in their hearts :) And It seems I`ve been recruited for the worship team so that was very fun as well! Haha I`m a little confused about tomorrow however... I`m supposed to be cooking bread with this German fellow that doesn`t know any English. We will see how that goes!! :D It will be an adventure that`s for sure!

The youth here are so much fun to hang out with! And I Can`t wait to see all that God has in store for us this week.

That`s a quick update! I hope you are all doing well! Praying and missing all of you!

Go Under The Mercy
-Sam

Say hello to Sweden :) Mini update of my adventures!

Hello from Strømstad Sverige! (Sweden) :) I have... alot to update! I always seem to be quite late in my updates but alas oh well... Right now I`m sitting in the basement of a local church here in Strømstad watching the rain drizzle outside and drip off a few apples still clinging to their tree. The weather here is in an interesting state, I currently reside in that funny place between Autumn and Winter. I suppose Autumn has come and gone, the colors have left, but Winter is still waiting to pay me a visit.

Strømstad is a little town of 10,000 folks on the coast of Sweden not more than 20 minutes f rom Norway. You would think that there is almost no difference here in Sweden compared to Norway, and you would be correct... almost. The culture is similar, the houses and lifestyles are similar, excpt the language. I can not understand a word of svenske... It`s so crazy. Norwegians and Swedes can communicate pretty well and the languages are similar, but its still crazy...

So I don`t have much to say about this team week so far, as it is only the second day. However I will update next week on the last three weeks and finally get around to uploading my Bergen trip pictures and the pictures that I took when Autumn was here almost a whole month ago back in Skien :p And hopefully some videos I`ve taken here around Norway. This next week, I`m putting a huge chunk of my time away so I can get around to this :) There`s so much to say and show! God has been doing pretty awesome things!

As a rough preview of the upcoming update I will talk about the team week following Bergen. Instead of going out, my team stayed back at the base and did alot of local projects including visiting the local refugee camp where several immigrants are trying to become citizens. Very cool experience :) We also had a crazy teaching week, and God has really been right beside me speaking to my heart. More on that! And ofcourse my adventures that will take place this week here in Sweden. I`m very excited bout friday... We get to take a boat to the island Kester which only has 200 people, a small church, and not a single car. I heard it`s absolutely beautiful, and will be working with the youth there so I`m very excited!

In other news I`m actually coming home for Christmas! So I will be back in town by the 14th of December, and then back again to Norway for New years :) I do hope I`ll get the chance to see all of you! I`m sure plans of a campfire/bible study party will fall together in time hehe, atleast I hope so! And... I recently found out that my mini outreach country here in Europe is Germany! So I will visit Germany for two weeks in mid January! I`m Very, excited to say the least :D.

I do hope you all are well! I`m praying for you guys, especially this week. Hello to Venture people, I`ve especially been praying for you guys! I hope your school year is going incredibly awesome!

Talk to you all soon! :)
Go Under the Mercy
-Sam

Norway, the land of cozyness :) First teem week!

So Here I am! I`ve been here a little over a month and I have experiened so much! :)

Since Nations to Nations in Oslo we`ve been having some absolutely incredible teaching weeks! The last couple weeks have completely changed the way I view Christianity, people and myself. Love isn`t just a word anymore, the undescribable is taking form in my heart. The more I learn about love, the less I can describe it with words. I`m beginning to realize love was never meant to be spoken, nor can it be. Love only comes in revelations. Revelations that are very rarely started by words. God uses the most incredible ways to show us His love. He`s showing me how to love. Love others, love those I proclaimed to love, love those I don`t think I can, and most importantly to love myself. I`ve come to realize that self pity, and self hatred is the number 1 tool of the enemy. It keeps us stagnant, and passive. Passivity is a state of death. Nothing can ever change when we keep ourselves in passive states. We may try as hard as we want to change, but nothing will budge until we let God give us those revelations and we begin to step away from our passivity. We have to realize, and come to a solid understanding of His love for us. His love is all consuming, eternal, it chases after us. His love doesn`t relent. The entire universe, and our entire life is spent running around trying to feel and find a home for our heart to rest in. All of life is a journey and search for this cozy at home feeling where our heart is allowed to rest in a simple state of joy; where we are truly content. All we want is a connection, an understanding, a relationship with something bigger.

We search for everything that might fill our God shaped puzzle peices in our heart. We shove and jam different ideas, feelings, relationships, good deads and half truths into our heart hoping one will fit. We`ve been running in circles searching for what we can`t find, when the answer has been patiently chasing after us calling after our hearts. Sometimes we know so much in our heads but when we don`t use it we lose it. Unless we let God take whats in our heads and transfer it, reveal it in our hearts, we have not learned anything. I have come to this revelation. There is nothing in this world, nothing at all, as important as my relationship to God. It is the ultimate fulfillment of life :) It doesn`t matter how hard I try, or how far I run, God`s love for me is the ultimate truth. Nothing is more satisfying, nothing is more beautiful then when He talks with me, and we walk through life together.

The very first week of teaching was the most important thing I have ever learned in life. My whole life has been lived with the illumination of my personality and future from my past. Memories of my family, of my father, of love have cast beautiful mindsets and lifestyles from which I live by. Some of these images and mindsets have been false, and God has been changing these from partial truths to a new and fully restored truths. Yet most have been true images of love, and God has been drawing out of me memories that have been supressed to show me what He thinks of me. My life up to this point has been about the relationship I had with my dad. Its been about that connection that was severed. The relationship I had for half of my childhood, and struggled to find the last several years. There is nothing as special to me as what my relationship with my dad was, and the relationship I will have with my son. It is something so very special. It is completely solidified in my heart.

God reminded me of this one day while I was praying and asking Him what He thought about me. This memory just flooded into my heart. When I was young, oh I`d say between five and seven years old, my dad and I took a trip. We took a trip to our property in Goldthwaite central Texas, just the two of us. I had these really cool pair of cowboy boots that I was so proud of. We stayed at my grandmas house and made beds on her living room floor late that night. The next morning the three of us ate a delicious breakfast of Buscuits and Gravy. We went to our property and did some work there with the fruit trees. I`ll never forget that night. We went to the local tiny family owned mexican restaurant that we always ate at when we were in town. I ordered a tostado and we ate a great meal, just the two of us.

It wasn`t the most eventful trip, but it meant the world to me. That it was just my dad and I, taking a trip together. It meant so much to me, that my dad wanted to spend the weekend just with me. As I was remembering this and the intense feeling of love came over me God said "This is what I think about you. You`re my beloved son, and I want to spend time with you, just the two of us. Come away with me into the world across the rolling green hills. Leave all the people that you try so hard to impress and so hard to be like behind. Come with me, just the two of us. Dad and son time. Let me show you how to live, and how to love. I want to be there with you through everything. Come away with Me son, just the two of us."His love is unbearably beautiful. It chases after us.

7 Where can I go from your Spirit? Where can I flee from your presence? 8 If I go up to the heavens, you are there; if I make my bed in the depths, you are there. 9 If I rise on the wings of the dawn, if I settle on the far side of the sea, 10 even there your hand will guide me, your right hand will hold me fast. 11 If I say, "Surely the darkness will hide me and the light become night around me," 12 even the darkness will not be dark to you; the night will shine like the day, for darkness is as light to you. 13 For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother's womb. 14 I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well. -Psalm 139

No matter how much stuff we have shoved into our heart, He is always there waiting to spend time with us. He is always there waiting to fill that void in our heart that only He can fill. He is so incredibly good isn't He? Notice how the verses progress? God's love is just chasing after us! We can't escape His goodness and mercy. And then He finds us. We think we're junk. We've listened to the lies of the world so much that we don't believe we're capable of good anymore. We find solace in our passivity and self pity and self hatred. Then God comes and says "My child, you are wonderfully made. I make incredible works! Look at the world around you, look at the beauty I have made for your enjoyment! And you think you're junk? I made you to be awesome, you are awesome! I want to have a relationship with you, I want to have a connection and we can be awesome together. :D Lay down these lies, open your heart to my truth and love. Get up and stop hating what I have made."Spending personal time with Him is the greatest feeling and event of my life. There's a reason we were brought into this world, start living it! It is so satisfying and so fulfilling, it makes sense for the creation to reach for the creator :) It is so beautiful to see a toddler run to his dad. This is what life is about. This wonderfully beautiful connection with our Dad. Nothing else matters!

I've also realized that my world view isn`t so flakey anymore. I feel a depthness flow into me. Its like I`m a giant empty pitcher with a "What I believe sticker on the front" and I`ve carried it around with me showing people. I used to tell so many people I was a christian. I try to steer clear of that now. I try to not mention it unless someone asks. My goal is for people to look at me, see how I treat them, see some of my beliefs and then ask me why I do what I do. I want to be the visible follower of Christ, not the self proclaimed ignorable one. I believe God is shaping my heart into someone that is humble and ready to show his heart. Ready to share love right there on the spot no matter how "Weird" the situation is. So those were a few of the biggest points I've learned the teaching weeks leading up to our first team week. God has really been opening my heart and showing me how to live. He's been leading and guiding me with His voice and I'm so happy to walk with Him!

Sarpsborg Norway! Our first teamweek! It was quite incredible :) My team consisted of Marcea (The mother), Eva (The crazy grandmother) our two leaders and Bjarte (The baby), Vegard (Adopted brother from Sweden), Mayelinn (My baby twin) and Katerina (the German aunt :p). Sarpsborg is in eastern norway so we had to take a ferry across the ocean to avoid the long drive all the way to Oslo and south again. It was quite a fun ordeal! We were very snug with all of our luggage in our tiny little miny van hehe. Upon arriving in Sarpsborg we learned that we were to have a house all to ourselves out in the norwegian countryside. Ahh it was so beautiful and cozy there! We arrived to a feast of a lunch :) We had an absolutely great time! We travelled to Sweden for the day and bought some cheap candy and chocolate. We also had several meetings with the confirmants and youth at a local church there in Sarpsborg. We were basically in charge of everything youth oriented that week there at the church. It was so great to get to meet everyone there and let God talk through you! We also did a program at a small baptist church that serves the homeless and drug addicts hot meals. That was really great :) We all sang some songs on the guitar and I read a view bible verses and talked about hope. In the end it was a really great week where the team really came together in short notice to plan so many creative ways to let God shine. Nobody stressed, and we all worked so well together and became quite close :)

But the biggest highlight for me was definitely friday night. We were in charge of leading the youth meeting that night, and afterwards there was suppose to be a concert. We always plan things the day of, so as I woke that morning I felt God tell me that we should talk about the puzzle piece idea. So we chased after it with a homemade drama with props and all, testimonies a good teaching, a game and a full worship team. It was incredible! That evening you could just feel God controlling what was said and the atmosphere :) It was beautiful! The drama was set to a Sigur Ros song that fit perfectly to our amazement! Vegard gave a really great message, and Mayelinn and I shared our personal testimonies. It was so beautiful and amazing to let God take control of my words and say what He wanted to say. Afterwards two people were really met by God, including one of the new confirmants! This was exciting to see! It just touched my heart to see the immediate response to God's love working in their hearts. Ahhh He is mighty to save!So now I still haven't completely caught up! I'm still two weeks behind hehe. But I will update that after this team week is over. This last week we had a really really really great teaching on relationships that has completely reshaped my view on them. As well as continued to change the way I look at myself. So far this experience with DTS has been building my personal identity and self image. I see who I am in the truth of God's love. I finally see myself the way God sees me. It's an incredible change of perspective from how I saw myself in the past. God is so good! And feeling your heart change shape inside your chest is a feeling I hope with all my being you have all felt as well. And if you haven't I pray that you are and will feel! He is so ready to take a walk with you. And its such a great time of year! Take a walk! :) Enjoy His love, and share it. That's what life is all about...

More pictures and videos of the last couple weeks coming as soon as possible!