Hello from Handong! :D

Wow!

So much to say!

God's spirit flows throughout the halls and around the buildings here :) I have come to a new understanding on how BIG and how Awesome God's family is!! It is truly amazing, and beautiful, and glorious all wrapped together in one!

This is truly the most international environment I have ever experienced. I am meeting people from Taiwan, China, Mongolia, Russia, South Korea, Rwanda, Tanzania, Uganda, Kenya, Philippines, Indonesia, Netherlands, Nepal, Palestine, and this is only in my incoming class! Hopefully I will meet more soon! :D (I'm probably forgetting a few somewhere...)

He is so big! My heart is stretching everyday to learn and know More of Him!

Korea is beautiful! It has a big focus in industry and agriculture! I took the train from Seoul to Pohang and it was an epic trip! At one moment you would be rushing through a giant city filled with people and tall buildings, and the next you would be in the mountains surrounded by green houses, orchards and rice fields.

So many gardens!! The mountains of Korea are lush and green! And the trees here are absolutely incredible! They are so diverse and mixed! My dear friend Jimmy would have loved this place!

These people are hilarious. So funny! So kind, warm, congenial, and friendly! I am learning Korean from so many people and enjoying every second of it!

Kimchi is good! It is spicy, and I have to be careful how much I take! But I like it :) It seasons my meal just right! Every meal I get to try something new, and my chopstick skills are increasing! It is an adventure every mealtime :D

The other day I was sitting in Twelve Baskets eating my Korean meal, and there was a sextet practicing their classical music. It was so beautiful to simply sit and eat and listen to the deep cello, the soft flute, piano, violins and clarinet! I am so moved by these people and this place.

Today we took the Honor Code Pledge. The President of Handong gave a speech and the first and last words out of his mouth were "I love you!". (He was part of the reason why I came!)

These people truly believe in God, and they aren't afraid to let God mold them into the leaders that this world needs. It is inspiring, it is moving, and it is challenging! I feel this calling to be more for God. To truly live life to the fullest! To live in Integrity and Honesty in all that I do!

Today at the Honor Code Pledge. President Kim said something that really struck me, other than him loving me so much :p. He said "We have to be the history makers!"

Wow! Let's do it!

Why not change the world?

"Be a Legend Sam!" - Jimmy Brazell

On the Plane heading to LAX :)

Some interesting gardens and fields. They put a black tarp over some plants to either protect it from the sun or create a water run off. It's very interesting!

Apartment buildings and mountains! :)

Rice fields! Yum :)

Looking over the rooftops to the mountains :)

Pohang! Which is where I am going in 20 minutes! Must run! Hopefully I will take more pictures of Handong Campus and community life! So much fun :)

Love you guys!

We Walk Where the Path is Illuminated

Sometimes I love to think about the unknown. It is such a fantastic and exciting future that lies in front of us. I have this strong faith and reassurance that lies within me that I will reach heavens shore one day, and that this kingdom that lives within me will shine. I have a faith in a Lord that is faithful to finish what He started with in me.

There is hope, there is hope in the midst of weakness! There is hope, there is hope in the midst of fear, when we surrender our consciousness’ to the one who has never lost the intents of His heart. How so often, we truly don’t understand our desires and how to let God fulfill them. Yet we serve one who makes no mistakes in what He instills and what He urges within our hearts!

Oh the joy, oh the adventure, oh the life that is for those who believe!

Every day is do or die… God’s spirit is calling us to live so fully and so completely we are almost scared to accept. There is freedom in Love, and truth is what will set us free to experience that love!  Let us not walk in the paths of this world lit up by bright lights, but walk through the valley of darkness where the path is illuminated by Him.

Follow the torch bearer, and run with all your will! This is the race that lies before me, and no one else will run it.

Heading to Handong Global University in Pohang South Korea... This is my anthem!

I will arise and follow you over
Savior please, pilot me

Over the waves and through every sorrow
Savior please, pilot me

When I have no more strength left to follow
Fall on my knees, pilot me

May your sun rise and lead me on
Over the seas, Savior pilot me

O' Lord

Trees

Last evening I took a walk outside as the sun was setting on my Uncles ranch in the Hill Country of Texas. There were small frolicking bats that would dip down and get a drink from the pool. The last few slanted rays from the sun were shooting through the branches of these gigantic oaks that were lending there branches to shade the pool. It was so beautiful, I just had to stop and talk to God. Sometimes when I am struck by beauty or a thought that comes to me from God I respond out loud to God and have a little conversation. So God began to talk to me through this Giant and majestic trees which wind their limbs here and there and arch them in such beautiful arcs that meet with the next tree to form a sort of canopy of green leaves.

Trees are such an interesting part of creation. There is a reason why they are used to represent the family unit. There is the saying that No Man is an Island, and I believe this is missing the bigger picture. In my opinion, no man is a lone tree. This is not a perfect analogy because I love those lone trees that sit on the top of grassy hills. They remind me of the giving tree. In some way lone trees that sit on the top of the hill are like grandfather or grandmother tree who are old and are only visited on special occasions but are wise, humble and extremely cherished.

  But instead, imagine trees as they are normally found: in a forest. I love forests.

The forests of Norway are some of the most fantastic in the world. I spent a weekend in the woods east of Skien Norway on a solo backpacking trip and I was overcome with the beauty and the medieval age of these dark forests. It reminded me of Mirkwood forest from the Hobbit. To be honest this was one of my favorite memories from my time in Norway. The adventure and the solitude, the cool of oncoming winter, and the warmth of a fire, it was a picturesque weekend.

But still, the trees which I speak of here in Texas are still different and unique in a beautiful way. Live Oaks are family trees.

They do not overcrowd their relatives in a thick and dark forest and they don’t stand on their own on top of grassy hills. They are special because they are able to branch out and become all they are meant to be without feeling any pressure or hindrance from others trying to keep them down. Yet at the same time they branch out and eventually touch branches with their neighbors in a graceful and beautiful way. I can honestly say that they are the freest tree I’ve ever seen and that is why I love them so much. But not free in a sense of independent, but free in the sense that they are able to grow into the fullest potential and oh man do they look beautiful when they stand together and intertwine their branches.

In a sense… this is what I pray my life will look like. I want to be a Live oak that grows strong and tall and lifts others up to all that God has for them and for me. We are all family. Let’s lift each other up and grow into all that God has for us. Let your rain fall down God! I’ll pull my branches out of the dirt and reach them out in praise.

“I will restore to you the years that the swarming locust has eaten, the hopper, the destroyer, and the cutter, my great army, which I sent among you.” Joel 2:25 God is restoring our branches.

Dust in the Air

When I lay idle in this body for so long my soul becomes scummed over like a stagnant pond in the muggy summer.  There is a reason why Proverbs speaks so much of work and poverty, and the more and more I live I realize that Proverbs speaks against poverty of the soul, and not of mere wealth. It is good for a young man to work and earn his living by the sweat of his brow.

Yesterday I was working very hard in my front yard and sweat was pouring off of my face into giant drips that stained the hot concrete of my driveway. I was getting frustrated with a piece of lawn equipment that was constantly dying on me. It was beginning to drive me crazy. My brother had already called for me to stop and come into eat dinner, but I was determined to finish what I started. And so… I continued my assault on the yard having to stop every 15 seconds to restart my equipment. I didn’t swear… I almost did several times. Finally I had this break down where I decided to talk to God about my predicament… I had read Philippians the other day with a friend from my University and we were talking about how Philippians is about not complaining, but being grateful in all situations. So book of scripture has been haunting me and my Spirit has been going to town working inside my heart.

As I remembered this book, I looked up and realized that getting angry and frustrated was not good, but that finishing the job was good. So I calmed down and finished the little section I had left in peace and gratitude without the machine stopping once!:) It was a nice victory indeed!

In Christ alone, my hope is found.

I've been daring lately and I have let God's spirit go roaming through my heart. It seems that I haven't let Him in for a while. Rather than lying in the dirt and clutching my hurt leg, I have been walking! This lame old body has been walking and dancing to the glory of God! There are rocks that I nearly twist my ankle on, but I am walking and laughing all the same!

I recently read my DTS journal while I was traveling in Colorado. It was a brilliant time of memory and God reminding me what He has done and what He will do within me and through me. I was made for joy, and joy abundantly to give to those around me.

There's not a day that I don't remember my Abba Father, my saviour, my deliverer, and I have to open my heart and pour out the Joy He has given me.

So as I pick up my weak and lame body, I walk onwards in joy to work, to walk and to dance into His Kindgom! I'm walking in the footsteps of Christ and the dust is still in the air.



Give up yourself, and you will find your real self

I found this as I was roaming about through C.S. Lewis quotes. It is exactly what I am trying to understand in my life at the moment. I do hope you all will enjoy :)

"But there must be a real giving up of the self. You must throw it away ‘blindly’ so to speak. Christ will indeed give you a real personality: but you must not go to Him for the sake of that. As long as your own personality is what you are bothering about you are not going to Him at all. The very first step is to try to forget about the self altogether. Your real, new self (which is Christ’s and also yours, and yours just because it is His) will not come as long as you are looking for it. It will come when you are looking for Him. Does that sound strange? The same principle holds, you know, for more everyday matters. Even in social life, you will never make a good impression on other people until you stop thinking about what sort of impression you are making. Even in literature and art, no man who bothers about originality will ever be original: whereas if you simply try to tell the truth (without caring twopence how often it has been told before) you will, nine times out of ten, become original without ever having noticed it. The principle runs through all life from top to bottom. Give up yourself, and you will find your real self. Lose your life and you will save it. 

    Submit to death, death of your ambitions and favourite wishes every day and death of your whole body in the end: submit with every fibre of your being, and you will find eternal life. Keep back nothing. Nothing that you have not given away will be really yours. Nothing in you that has not died will ever be raised from the dead. Look for yourself, and you will find in the long run only hatred, loneliness, despair, rage, ruin, and decay. But look for Christ and you will find Him, and with Him everything else thrown in."

C.S. Lewis, Mere Christianity (1952; Harper Collins: 2001) 223-225.

There is a Heavenly Forest I know

There is a heavenly forest I know,
Which lingers still to this day.
Its trees are old, its history told
In memories which frolic and play.

I once stumbled into this wood,
Of whence I came, I know not how.
Yet this I can assuredly say,
I would give a day to see it now.

The cool breath of loving trees,
The laughter which echoed throughout;
The singing of flowers and contentment herself,
Lilted here, and there, and all about.

It was here that I found her waiting,
Crowned in all her simple excellence.
To sit, to pray, to worship on high,
And find my rest in peacefulness.

Ice Cold Water and Lots of Sun from Chang Mai!

Hello to all from Chang Mai :) I am currently lying on my comfy bed chilling to Travis sipping an ice cold sprite from a glass bottle with a rotating fan blessing me from afar every 8 seconds. My two companions are both passed out on their own individual beds being blessed at intervals of 8 and 4 seconds as well (I have the window bed :D). God has blessed us immensely :)

I`ve been here for a week and a half and I can't say how much I`ve enjoyed my time here. It`s been rather incredible to say the least :) I`m especially glad I was here in Chang Mai for Songkran, the Water Festival, the worlds largest and most epic water fight! But I will back up before I tell my war glory stories or boast of any battle scars.

Last I updated I was in Mae Sot in quite a cozy coffee shop just coming back from a week and a half in two different Karen villages. Well shortly after our day off, we all piled into Gugu`s (Our translator) truck and headed for a third Thai Karen village not too far from Mae Sot. It was easter Sunday :) We arrived and shortly after changing into our church clothes headed through the village and up a long cement stair case up to the church sitting on a hill overlooking the village. It was a really nice church! It even had wooden pews :D.

For one thing it sure was the most interesting Easter Sunday service I`ve been too haha. Usually in Karen villages there are a lot of boys(usually a little more boys than girls) in church which is an unusual but awesome statistic. However in this church there were a lot of girls. They had two choirs, one children's and one teenage choir, both almost made entirely out of girls. The biggest thing that stuck out to me in this service was the 15 – 20 minute prayer at the end :p. After the service we were invited for lunch and had quite a delicious meal :) That evening the whole youth group with lots of teenagers came over to the house we were staying at for evening worship. Ahh absolutely beautiful and lovely to hear familiar worship songs (and new ones!) in the Karen language. I just felt God`s presence dwell with us. And I could feel it in the air, true and utter worship and sincere desire for God. He rewards those who seek His face.

For the next couple days we did a lot of children`s program everyday, and a couple of us helped one of the villagers finish his Bamboo hut (bamboo porch with railing and all!) :) That was fun! I`ve never enjoyed using a machete more! At night the whole village goes to bed around 8:30-9ish, so around this time I would go outside and look at the night sky in the dark and in the quiet. It was absolutely breathtaking and so tranquil to stand alone gazing upwards talking to God and paying visit to old familiar friends in the sky.

One day I decided to take a walk in my spare time and headed out of the valley up onto the hills. The hills here are extremely steep but not too tall, kind of like oblong turtle shells that grew up instead of out. With Switchfoot`s new cd as my background music I climbed with passion and tenacity! I love it when my whole body can participate in worshiping my king :D. At the top of every crest I would get a new and revealing view of the surrounding valleys and distant rice fields or distant trails running up even steeper hills with rocky cliffs jutting out their sides. Beautiful scenes that will be crystallized in my memory as long as I live. I prayed for the village and just felt like a new part of my heart had awoken inside of me.

If there is one thing that I will remember and take away with me from the Karen people, one thing that I learned, one thing that characterized them, was their utter and complete hospitality. We would go house visiting again every night and no matter where we went they had refreshments and snacks prepared or quickly prepared for us. Here we are rich white foreigners visiting these beautiful people`s humble houses who don`t have much and work all day long just so they can put rice on the table for their family, I just felt different. They would spend the little money that they saved on Cola and cookies so they might have something to offer us.

What do I offer visitors or friends back home? The first thought I had was to bake a cake everytime a friend comes over when I get back home :p But then it made me think... what do I have to offer them? For one quick moment I thought “nothing.” They have the love of Christ growing inside of them already, all I am is just a white boy from Texas eating their food. I felt rather useless to be honest.

But then they said something that made my ears twitch. In all of the houses all of the parents said that their biggest concern was that their children might have an education, especially to learn English. Ahha! And then I realized that one of the biggest blessings I`ve been given to give to others is the simple gift of friendship. Through offering basic needs to people, helping them improve their lives and helping them with whatever they needed I could form simple and life long friendships with these amazing people.

In the three days I was there I already felt sad to leave these friendships in such an early stage. The pastor of the church mentioned that he too was sad that we all have to leave after just getting to know each other. It made me want more. I realized that I`m not content with acquaintances... It also made me realize that missions is not some big emphasized time in life where we let God use us for ministry. Instead I realized that missions is simply being taught how to minister with your life. To love through living life, and to love deeply and unreservedly, it`s as simple but difficult as that.

We left for Chang Mai the next day. On the bus ride up there I had a great time of writing and was able to capture some of my thoughts by pen and paper which always picks up my spirit. It was quite a different turn from bamboo hut villages to the city with mopeds songtaos (Taxi trucks) and nice guest houses with beds and fans! I honestly believe I`m living in luxury at the moment. The market is not far away where I can buy two juicy sweet ripe mangos for 50 cents.

The ministry and atmosphere is definitely different these last two weeks but I`ve enjoyed it just as much as the simple and quiet lifestyle of the villages. Here at the YWAM guest house is another DTS team from Sunshine Beach Australia. I`ve really enjoyed the additional company in ministry :)

Here in Chang Mai we are working with two different ministries. Home of Joy (Orphanage/ Family of eight awesome kids that know more bible stories than most of us, and correct us if we forget an important detail in any of them) in the morning from 9-12ish and Night Bar ministry late from 8-12ish. It`s absolutely two completely opposite ministries in the same day, but we love it!

Working with all the kids at Home of Joy is just that, a great joy for me :) However it is rather exhaustive especially after staying up late at the bars every night. To say these kids are energetic would be deceiving :p They are pretty crazy whirl winds of joy that can speak Thai and English very well. There are 7 boys and 1 girl. I really love these kids, and they love to have fun! I can't say much more due to safety reasons but they are great kids and I miss them alot!

Great kids! My specialty with them is either reading their favorite books to them (Berenstein Bears! Woot!) and our daily paper airplane race after the bible story :) The two big outings we`ve done with the kids was a rock climbing adventure at this rock climbing wall place, and taking them all out to play in the Water Festival! I will miss them when we have to leave...

Regarding the night bars, the guys on my team in partnership with Johnny (an Australian sounding swiss dude) and Dan (An intense Californian who lives in Washington) have pioneered friendships and connections with the gay bar section here in town. To say the least our time at these different bars has been great!

I for one have quite a larger world view and outlook on the whole subject of being gay. At first I was shocked, then I was saddened, and now I accept and see the truth behind so many of these mens false identities and am focused to become friends with them and love them for who they are. Like I said, at first I was shocked. The majority of men that visit these bars are 50-60 years old and older and are all white foreigners from Europe, Canada and the U.S. After having many talks with many of the customers, it`s appalling how warped their worldview is and how much their thought life and as a result their ability to hold a conversation revolves around sex.

I`ve heard things like this. “12 years old and up is okay. They start having sex on their own at that age anyway.” “Slums in Thailand? Are you serious? Thailand is so nice now, it can be compared with Switzerland.” “I thought all boys played around with each other when they were 15 or 16...”. The whole scene of this place is dark, but not in a scary way, just in a twisted way. It`s all set up with young Thai guys trying to make some money by being “company” to the customers. What made me especially sad and sick to the stomache/angry is seeing that one of the “drifters”, gay prostitutes that hang out in the bars looking for work, couldn`t have been older than 14.

It`s a pretty sick and demented system set up, and all of us have been challenged, but God has protected us and it seems that no matter what we see or experience, that it just bounces off of us and doesn`t affect us. I`m also constantly affirmed and reminded of my masculinity, it`s pretty much black and white. All of the customers can tell that I`m not gay as soon as they see me, and that kind of confuses them to as why I`m hanging out at a gay bar. Yet they are all starving for true conversation and real masculinity with people who haven`t put up a false identity so it is easy to talk to people and generally they are open and amiable.

I talked to this one guy named Tony from Vermont for almost 2 and a half hours one night. He was about 40 years old and lived in Thailand. Owned a ring manufacturing company and for some reason was filthy rich. Dan and I started to get to know him, and when the subject of religion came up we were surprised to hear that he used to be a southern baptist when he lived in Florida. He said the reason he left the church was the hypocrisy in the church. A deacon gave a sermon that was rather “anti-gay” and the next week Tony saw the same guy in a gay bar. When he confronted the pastor, the pastor did not act.

So Tony said he was done with that crap. However, he was well versed in the bible! Although I think he was well versed in a way that was a little twisted, kind of like a man that uses a warped mirror as an indicator of his true reflection. He used different bible verses in ways that they weren`t necessarily supposed to be used, however all in all he quoted most of them correct. At this point Dan and him got in a little bit of a scuffle about Christ and the idea of abusing grace, and I was afraid it was going to get bad. Both of them were saying mostly truth, but refusing to hear the truth of the other. Voices were raised and it got a little iffy looking, but I was able to calm Tony down a little bit. After Dan left, Tony kind of went back to normal and the atmosphere turned calm and open again.

So we talked a lot about his life, and what he believes. We talked about Buddhism and Christianity. We talked about his father and his childhood. We talked about physics and entropy. Ahh it was great :D! By using one of my passion in physics I was able to give him a couple thoughts regarding God and what Christ did in a different way than he had ever wondered. And in the end we talked about doing good, his orphan work in Burma and the mission work that I did here in Thailand. We talked about the depravity of man, and how we should strive to make a better world (I put in, through Christ`s power haha.). In the end we didn`t feel like we shoved our idealogical beliefs down each others throats, but instead thoroughly enjoyed discussing them.

As we ended our conversation he told me I was one of the wisest men he knows and that it gave him hope to see someone else who was fighting against the darkness. This confirmed something inside of me that I have always been wondering and hoping about. The fact is, I don`t want to witness with my mouth. It`s like that famous quote from St. Francis of Assisi “Preach the gospel always, if necessary, use words.” I believe it wasn`t what I said to Him that impacted him so much, as to how I said it and the fact that I truly took interest in him and in what we were discussing. I believe he saw something different in me, and I`m just glad that God shown through! At the end of our conversation we were laughing like old friends (He wasn`t drunk) and I felt real joy being shared between us! I`ve always prayed... “God help me to love these people.” as if it was something I could`t do with a honest heart. As if talking to these people was something I had to force myself to do. But as I`ve gone to the bars every night, it becomes real and honest through God`s love inside of me, and I truly want to be there!

To say the least God is teaching me so much, and using me for even more I believe! He really is shaping my heart and my weapons of truth/love on the front line of battle. When I push myself in the midst of the darkness out of my comfort zone that is when God shines through and makes towers and mountains crumble before me. The darkness can not hide from His light. I know it sounds ironic, but He is teaching me how to fight with His love. The darkness, with all of its lies and deceit and its ability to hide is nothing compared with the ultimate reality of His love breaking down mighty strongholds.

The truth is....
Eph 6:12 “For we do not wrestle against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the cosmic powers over this present darkness, against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly places.”

But the good news is...

Isaiah 61:1, 4 “The spirit of the Lord God is upon me, because the Lord has anointed me to bring good news to the poor, he has sent me to bind up the brokenhearted, to proclaim liberty to the captives, and the opening of the prison to those who are bound.... They shall rebuild up the ancient ruins; they shall raise up the former devastations; they shall repair ruined cities, the devastations of many generations.”

Rom 8:38-39 “ For I am sure that neither death nor life, nor angels nor rulers, nor things present nor things to come, nor powers, nor height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to seperate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord.”

So anyways that`s what my last two weeks have been like :)! Book wise, I finished C.S. Lewis`s masterpiece “Till we have Faces” in the Karen village and was blown away once again! This time reading through, I feel like I got a lot more than last time and it really stuck with me! Such good truth in this book. It`s hard to describe my love and appreciation I have for this book haha. And at the moment I am reading “Wild at Heart” by John Eldredge and I am being blown away. I`ve seen this book, heard of this book, but always kind of wrote it off. However now that I`ve given it a chance, its like the perfect time for me reading it! It`s basically Father Heart of God teaching directly focused at men, sooo good :D Little to say, I`m thoroughly enjoying this book!

Last but not least, the water festival was epic! I went out everyday in the streets surrounding the moat and threw buckets of ice cold water on people :) I was actually able to film some the last day with a waterproof plastic bag for my camera, but I don`t know if the video is good or if I will have time to upload any. I hope I will! This event will forever be one of my favorite memories of all time! I`ve never had so much intense water fun in my whole life. Especially getting the dry people :p

Anyways I love you guys, and thanks for praying and following my story. You guys mean a lot :D Prayer requests are just for good conversations in the Gay bars and for God to break down false identities and lies that these men have convinced themselves of. As well as for the children at Home of Joy, they need love and male influence. I pray that God will use me as that this last week we are with them. Also prayer for team unity and boldness to be open and honest within the team. :)

All the best!

Go Under the Mercy
-Sam